Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Switch It Off!

I keep missing episodes of Kitchen Nightmares and I can't find any of them on Youtube or any other video streaming website so lately I've just been catching anything Ramsay I can get my hands on.

Couple nights ago I had a dream that I was actually on Hell's Kitchen as a contestant. Don't know why the producers decided to put me on considering the most experience I have in the kitchen was a brief stint as a dishwasher and cooking for myself. Those are the contestants I hate to see on the show. When you're 40, never worked in a professional kitchen but think that playing Mr. Mom (No man with any self-respect should call themself that) qualifies you to be a head chef at a billion dollar casino, then you're about as crazy as some bald eunuch who calls himself a Jedi.

After being eliminated from Hell's Kitchen, contestant Jason Underwood moved to England where he went from sous chef to unemployed Jedi Knight

But it seems that I had made it past the first episode since I was actually doing a challenge (They never do those on the first episode) and the challenge was to cut a whole chicken into eight pieces (Thigh, thigh, wing, wing, drum, drum, breast, breast).

So I went at my chicken and thought I was doing a pretty good job when all of a sudden time was up. Time to present Chef Ramsay with my butchery and see if I'm up to his standard. However as another of my team was up for scrutinizing, something horrible just occurred to me: My chicken has vanished. All the parts that I had cut up were gone. I was looking around for it, wondering if anyone had moved it away. And at this point I'm starting to panic.

Yeah, deep down, I'm sure that Gordon Ramsay is a nice guy who really likes to have a good time but I know that when you're screwing up risotto or under cooking a beef Wellington that he's pretty intimidating. However the dream quickly ended before he could get to me. What's even weirder was that I don't even remember seeing Ramsay to begin with

"A Hell's Kitchen dream without me? GET OUT!!!!"

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