Wednesday, September 29, 2010

That's the Chicago Way!

I'm 24 years old right now. I still consider myself pretty young and most people would agree that I act a lot younger than my age. I don't really look forward to getting old but after browsing the news today, I can't help but count the days until I turn 65. Because then I can shoot people...and get away with it. Come on, if it applies to her then certainly good ol' Schweitzer-Man should get the same deal in 2051.

Can you just imagine that? You're some young punk thinking you can fuck around with old man Alzheimer when all of a sudden-BANG!!!-you've been shot in the stomach and you're bleeding pretty badly. Not enough to kill you, but enough to make you wish you were dead.

"That's the Schweitzer way!"

The big kick that I get out of this is that the kid who got shot is the one who could be facing time behind bars. Actually, I'm not sure what's funnier, the fact that the kid could go to jail or that a lot of people in the neighbourhood are jealous that this old bag got to do it first.

And she gets off with not even a slap on the wrist. Holy shit, this has got to piss off those people who claim they drive halfway across town in their sleep to kill their mother-in-law.

Even cooler is that by the year 2051, weapons technology will have advanced so far that there will be all new ways to terrorize the little whippersnappers who try to mess with me. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the phasers from Star Trek are household items by that time. Those kids better hope they're not wearing a red shirt.

I told you stay off my lawn, you little bastard!

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