Harry Potter and The Two and a Half Hours of Mediocrity

I've read four out of the seven Harry Potter books. The first two I enjoyed a lot (Got through Chamber of Secrets in three days), the third one was good. 

Forth (Goblet of Fire) didn't really do anything to capture my attention and I quit as soon as that damn tournament started.

Bought Order of the Phoenix a week after it came out and have read it maybe twice. Not to say I didn't enjoy it because I thought it was brilliant. Then I stopped.

Never got around to reading Half Blood Prince or the last one. And it didn't bother me that much either. Saw the first two movies and enjoyed them. Decided to sit my ass down and watch Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince despite the long run time and I have to say that it felt pretty uneventful. None of the characters seemed to stand out in any way for me, it felt like a lot of things were happening yet nothing was really getting down, and I don't even I could think to call any scene a favourite. That and it felt like half a movie to me. The credits were rolling and I thought, "Oh, that's it?" By no means was it a bad movie but it also wasn't one that I'd sit through again. Maybe it's a good thing I stopped reading when I did.

The Ring and Pacquiao

For the past two years or so, I’ve made it my duty to purchase every monthly issue of The Ring magazine so that I can read some good articles and count the number of obvious spelling mistakes. 

However to find this month’s issue has been quite a struggle.

Apparently it was to hit shelves September 29. No such luck at any Chapters, magazine shop or any other outlet. For all of this month, whenever I found a bookstore I had to scope through the magazines, throwing MMA and professional wrestling magazines aside hoping to find the bright blue cover with Miguel Cotto and Manny Pacquiao rushing towards each other for a battle to come next month. 

Up until today I was worried that it was too far into the month that all copies must have been purchased or that they had been pulled. But when it seemed that hope was lost, there it was in a small convenience store in the mall in downtown Calgary. 

I loudly exclaimed “YES!” as I picked it up, probably looking like a massive tool in the process but happy nonetheless. As I paid for it, the young woman at the counter pointed to Pacquiao. 

“Do you like boxing?” she asked. 

“Love it.” 

“Do you like him?” 

 “Pacquiao? He’s great.”

The woman smiled. Being Filipino it wasn’t that surprising that she recognized the pound for pound king of boxing (Special note to Mayweather fans: Coming back and challenging a lightweight to a welterweight contest does not put you at the top of the list). Pacquiao is more famous in his country than Michael Jordon was in America.

“I don’t like boxing or a lot of sports…but when he’s fighting, I love to watch it. Is he fighting this month or next?”

“Next month,” I answered. “I can’t remember if it’s in New York or Las Vegas but it’s going to be a great fight.”

Pot and Crab Meat?

One of my favourite reality series (before it went to shit) was The Apprentice with Donald Trump. We used to watch it in business class when I was in high school and we would discuss it afterwards. Found a channel on youtube that has most of the episodes I remember back in the day. 

 Last night I had a dream that I was in New York City, on The Apprentice. I'm pretty sure it wasn't Celebrity Apprentice because I didn't recognize any of my teammates (Though maybe that means it was Celebrity Apprentice) and our task, not really having to do anything with business, but just to see who could get more people to sign a petition. I guess whoever was Team Leader decided that ours had to involve the legalization to sell marijuana and crab meat in the same package. Don't ask me what sense that made, I still can't figure that shit out.

Who is More Desperate?

Look at this cover and ask yourself that question: Who is more desperate?

A) Playboy- For thinking that this cover would boost sales and that grown men would rather beat off to a naked cartoon than fuck their wives?

B) Members of The Simpsons staff-For thinking that grown men would rather beat off to a naked cartoon than fuck their wives in a hope that people will start watching the show again and talk about it? And for thinking that anything they've done in the past 10 years has been funny 

C) Virgins and other grown men who buy this issue and beat off to a naked cartoon rather than fuck their wife?

Seriously, why else do men buy Playboy? Because they don't have internet. But for more obvious reasons, we want flesh, not flash animation. How this is different from all those anime porns the Japanese make is beyond me. To be fair, I haven't read the issue, nor do I intend to. There's plenty of free porn on the internet, why go to the local 7-Eleven to shill out $11 so you can beat off to Marge Simpson?

What makes this even more pathetic (and I apologize is this seems rantish) is that this is getting coverage on CNN (Not surprising considering Wolf Blitzer still has a job at that network) and a lot of other "legit" media outlets. I do realize that The Simpsons is an important show because without it we wouldn't have King of the Hill, Family Guy, American Dad or the Cleveland Show...actually considering that two out of those four have always sucked and that Family Guy while popular- is really tanking these days in terms of comedy, The Simpsons is to blame for most of the crap we see on TV.

Yeah, it's been around a long time (20 years!) but the show stopped being funny in 1999 and it won't be as popular again as it ever was back in the early 90's.

A friend of mine did a very good podcast some time ago about how the animated sitcom has fallen and it's a pity that this issue of Playboy didn't come out sooner because I would have loved to hear his and his friends' thoughts on the whole subject.

New Room

No longer confined to the stamp-book sized room of a Travelodge hotel, I'm now lodging in the computer room of Aaron and Katelyn's home. 

It's a nice warm room which is perfect considering that the outside has turned into a winter wonderland...in fall. I've been applying to jobs, hoping to get employment anywhere. My dad said that I have two weeks which is fine with me.

If I don't find anything here, I'm more than likely to move out to the Northwest as a last ditch effort. Sure to everyone else it might sound like prison but think about how many people have gone to prison and came out better? Not enjoying this weather too much but it's tolerable so long as I have a hat and gloves. Other than that, not much else to report. Plan on making my special veggie and meat sauce sometime this week (probably Thursday) in some way to show my thanks and keep myself busy.

Floundering thru Alberta

I'm here in Calgary looking for a new job because my broke ass hasn't been working in over 6 months. I'm cool about it all but the thing that is making this such a pain in the dick is that my dad insisted he come with me.

Why?

Well he used to live in Calgary...25 years ago but hey, the city can't change that much in one quarter of a century, right?...Right?

It has, sadly to his dismay (or delight). He keeps exclaiming, "Holy shit!" and "Ffffuck" whenever he sees something new that jumps out at him. This also means he's looking over my shoulder every three minutes, seeing what I'm writing on applications. He keeps getting excited and then exclaims, "Don't get excited." He's acting sorta like Flounder from Animal House.