Running Again

If there's one thing I can come close to disliking about a boxing workout, it's roadwork. The summer before I moved to Calgary, I was doing it almost every night, running 3k and trying to up my speed each time. I did 5k once and the second time I tried it, I had to stop running and limp home in pain after I started getting bad blisters on the back of my foot (Shouldn't have used brand new running shoes)

After I got back to going to the gym, I would start every workout with 10 minutes of cardio, running and increasing my speed every two minutes. It's weird because I don't mind running on treadmills. And all that time I've been going to the gym, I've tried to get Aaron to go with me.

Since living out here, we've only had two workouts and both were at the local YMCA. And that was only because we were on a 7-day trial period. I've tried every month, but he always has some new excuse. He did let me know over a month ago that he installed a pull-up bar in his basement and I thought that was a good start. I asked him if he planned on returning to the gym and he said that he would when he could get his money's worth out of a gym. At the moment, he was just trying to get "unfat" as he put it.

That made me laugh because he's not fat but whatevs. Then a few weeks ago he told me that he purchased a used treadmill and was running almost daily, doing 3k in 30 minutes. I have no idea why, but I suddenly got very competitive and started running for 30 minutes at the gym now as well. However, I doubted Aaron's numbers. The distance measurement told me that in 30 minutes plus a five minute cool down period, I was just doing over 3k.

I instantly called bullshit on Aaron's numbers and thought that he must be cheating. Turns out I was just an idiot and didn't know that GoodLife treadmills measure distance in miles instead of kilometers. However that got me a bit encouraged.

A few days ago when I finished work, I went to the gym and did 5.25km in total. A few days later, I decided to go a step crazier and go running outside. While most people say that Calgary winters are colder than a witch's tit (When did you feel said tit and why would you?), it wasn't that bad. I was wearing the proper gear for it and felt fine. I didn't have a route in mind so I just decided to run until I felt tired. After looping around several blocks, I ended up at the local Super Store and decided to walk home from there.

What kinda bugs me is that despite getting back into running, I thought I would be doing a lot better already. When I did my 5k in Essex, I did that in under 30 minutes. I know this stuff takes time but dammit, I'm impatient.

Oh, also, there's this cool true story about how I saved a friend from captivity in the Middle East but I'll tell you that next time.

I Hate Charley and his Horse

I was relaxing in bed the other day when all of a sudden I felt my right calf start to firm up. For the past week or two it had been sore a bit and I just assumed that it was from all the running around I do. I thought it would go away once I straightened out my leg like I usually do.

However this was not the case. I could feel the skin of my leg start to wrap around the muscle like plastic wrap and the pain intensified. I stretched my leg out and did my best not to scream like a little girl. Instead, I found myself in agony and laughing at my own discomfort. What was adding to the humour was the fact that I was bending my foot to the left and couldn't force it to go straight.

Yeah, that was sort of what my leg looked like...sans Kathy Bates of course

It felt like the muscle was actually going to burst out of the skin and this was going on for too long. I looked at my foot and desperatly willed myself to straighten out. It did and the pain quickly went away.

I found out later from my mother that it was a charley horse and that my father used to get them all the time. I suddenly recalled nights where he would awaken screaming. And to think all the years I thought it was due to him forgetting to turn his night-light on...

According to him, it either means I'm dehydrated (Unlikely) or I need to adjust my diet (Very likely). That really sucks because I think I do good for a guy who eats nothing but junk food and exercises on a semi-regular basis. But in all honesty, it did freak me out for a second and has made me realize that, yeah, a salad every once in a while wouldn't hurt.

So does anyone wanna come over and make me a salad?

Yeah, something along these lines. Not too many croutons, please.

Be a NINJA!!!!!

I was at the gym recently and as I was leaving I saw a flyers on the desk that I had overlooked before. Always looking for new reading material, I picked it up and saw the following explanation in the top right corner:

Ninjutsu: Ninjutsu was developed as a collection of fundamental survivalist techniques in the warring states of feudal Japan.

My first immediate thought was, "Ninjas live in Calgary?" and wondering if this was foreshadowing to me entering a time vortex and getting sucked back in feudal Japan so that I could keep the entire cast of The Last Samurai from crying at the end of the movie.

"Oh, hai."

Some of you may think I'm going to start knocking martial arts but the truth is I'm not. I have great respect for it considering that Bruce Lee is one of my idols. But I'm just taking a look at the flyer and examining what else it explains about this course.
Well, it seems that before you can get to Ninjutsu, you first must conquer the five levels of Taijutsu.

Well, wait a minute, isn't that the biggest tease ever. You lure people in by telling that you're going to train them to be a ninja...only after they've mastered another form of fighting. OK, let's examine the five levels.

A moment most Chuck Norris fans would like to forget

Level 1: Earth-This is where you learn the foundation of your training with physical exercise, basic punches and kicks, rolling, and dodging

Why would you roll if you can dodge? For that matter, when have you ever seen anyone actually roll on the ground when fighting...aside from those near-homoerotic moments in UFC. The only time I can recall someone rolling in a fight was Bruce Lee and that was when he had a whole Japanese dojo charging at him before he bitch-slapped them with his nunchuks.

Level 2: Water-In water, you learn to be flexible, to "go with the flow", soft strikes, leadership and basic grappling

You know, you could have just used (again) Bruce Lee's famously quoted, "Be water, my friend" speech. Would have been so much cooler


Level 3: Fire-Fire is all about independence; where you start to take what you have learned and make it fit your body type. Fast and explosive is the training method for this level and to learn the meaning of full commitment

That's fire? OK, you better hope a lot of people who sign up aren't people who have seen Naruto otherwise you're going to have some pissed off anime nerds on your hands.

Maybe he's a dragon and not a ninja...

Level 4: Wind-Getting into distance fighting, and reading body language, to learn how to anticipate the next move, and how to talk your way out of a situation with the confidence to back it up

Bruce Lee wouldn't have walked away...I'm just sayin'...

Level 5: Void-Void is where it all starts to come together. Combining all 4 levels and learning the history of the system, to prepare you for your Black Belt.

Void? Sorry, just seems like kind of an empty title (Ha...ha). Especially if it's the level where you bring everything together

Hey, hold on a second! Earth, Fire, Wind, Water and Void...sounds kinda familiar. You know what, if you substituted "Heart" for "Void", that sounds like something out of a bad Ted Turner environmental cartoon show.

Now this class makes sense to me. You learn these five stages and combine them to make you start your path to being a ninja. So let's just call the fifth level Heart because to me that makes more sense. So, Earth, Water, Fire, Wind and Heart.
When the five Levels combine, they summon Earth's greatest champion:
NINJA CAPTAIN PLANET!!!

All kidding aside, the course does sound interesting and if I wasn't so lazy at times, had reliable transportation and wasn't such a boxing fanatic that commitment to any other sports seems like heresy. Besides, I think just learning the five levels of taijutsu would be enough. I mean, in freakin' Calgary, do you think we have a need for ninjas?

Also, if I'm in a fight, do you think your opponent is going to give you time to remember what pocket you left your shuriken in?

"Hi, I'm Naruto, and I have the most unrealistic outfit related to my profession since April O'Neil. Believe it!!!

Insomnia's a Bitch

It is 3:46AM and I can't sleep. At all. In fact I don't even think I'm tired which is pretty sad.

During my work week, I don't get a lot of sleep even when I know I should. I can't help it but I just can't seem to fall asleep or sometimes I will fall asleep only to be awoken by a dream about work. There are moments where I'm laying in bed, thinking that I'm at my till with an irate customer in front of me and my computer is crashing. Part of me knows that this is just my subconscious fucking around with me and the other half is doing my best to regain control of the situtation I'm dreaming about. And at some point I'll realize it's all real and then I'll say something in the dream that I end up saying outloud in my sleep. It's something I do every so often.
Getting back to my sleep. Whenever I start my two days off (My weekend, so to speak) I sleep in. I'll set my alarm but I'll ignore it and continue my peaceful slumber to the point where it's almost noon when I wake up. Some people might say, "What a waste of half a day" but it's mine to waste.

So after waking up past noon today, I find myself tossing and turning and I don't think any remedy is going to cure me of my small bout of insomnia. I suppose I could go and do a shift at Flying J but the only way I'm going there on my day off is if...actually I can't think of a good reason.

I went to the gym for the first time in months yesterday. As feared, I'm out of shape. The routine I did back in Ontario kept me in the best shape I could ever hope to be but now I can barely do that without feeling ill. The ten minute run I started with also didn't go too well which is sad considering I used to run over 3K every night in the summer.

Aaron and I briefly discussed the possibilities of working out again like old times however that might be difficult given our schedules but I'm hoping that it'll work out. He hasn't worked out in forever so I might take pity on him and let him borrow my gym card so he can squeeze in a workout or two.

5K Run

During the summer, every night at nine, I would put on my gym clothes, lace up my shoes and head out on the street, doing a 3.5 km (2.17 miles) run. I think when I first started out it took me 24 minutes to complete. Every time I run there are certain points where I just stop and walk for one minute, sort of simulating what a boxing round is like; I would sometimes run much longer than three minutes but I always kept the one minute rest in there. I got good, getting to the point where it took me just a little over 17 minutes to complete my course. However, what usually happens when I get into a running routine, I would sometimes tell myself that I could afford to take one night off. And as usual, one night off evolves into two, then a week, then three weeks and before I know it, when I start to get back into it, my timing gets worse than before. Last night I did a 5 km run for the first time. It took me 28:18 seconds which isn't bad when I checked and saw that I took a total of five and a half minutes of rest. I'm probably going to try and make this a nightly routine and hopefully my laziness won't get in the way again.