Me and Tom Grummett

Around a year ago, it really felt like the world was slowly-but surely-getting back to normal. People were allowed to eat out at restaurants, go to the movies, visit bars, breweries, attend concerts and even...comic book conventions.

Despite the show normally being held in April, in September of last year, the Calgary Expo returned in a slightly limited capacity. But I have to honest...I really enjoyed it. It felt a lot more organized and I thought it was great having all of the convention in one building instead of having vendors in the BMO Center and all the comic pros and Artists Alley (Along with other, smaller, vendors) in the Big Four Building.

Plus, I got a lot of cool things, a whole bunch of comics autographed, I picked up some art from new artists...and I also got COVID.

My Favourite TV Themes

Back a few months ago, I did a podcast with The Basement Vagrants where we discussed our favourite TV themes/intros. I went back and listened to that and thought that while my list was good, there were some choices that I either neglected to include or shouldn't have put on in the first place. 

It's very hard for me to rank these to other than the final two on this list (Which I consider the best), so any other entry on this list, I enjoy equally. 

Fangasm

I don't need to tell you guys that I'm a huge Star Trek fan (I'm not sure whether the term "Trekkie" or "Trekker" is appropriate) and was thrilled last year when I got to attend the Calgary Expo and get the autograph of one Jonathan Frakes (Commander William T. Riker) as well as the awesome Maurice LaMarche (The Brain).

Sometime last week I was browsing through Facebook and got some info from the Calgary Expo's page. Apparently attending the convention, among guest stars Adam West and Robert Englund, was going to include not one, two...but ALL main cast members of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

"Captain, sensors are detecting four Romulan Warbirds surrounding us. Is now really the best time to strike a pose?"

Yeah, I nearly got a boner over that news. Look, back 18 years ago, TNG was the best show on television and whenever I can catch it, I'll give it a watch. Hell, for as big a fan as I am, there are still episodes of that show I haven't seen; and I'm a guy who sat through all of DS9 and Voyager.

The cast is going to be taking part in a large Q&A panel one of the three days of the convention so I'll be trying to attend that because apparently the whole cast hasn't done one together in almost 20 years. So yeah...kind of a big thing. I gotta wonder though, if I got a chance to ask them something, what would I ask. All sorts of possibilities...

Chances are some dumb fan will want to ask Denise Crosby if she could see Tasha hooking up with Data had she not left the show midway through the first season.

Fans think that because they had drunken sex, they must have been in love. The people who think this, coincidentally, have never had sex, drunken or otherwise

If you are that dumb fan, let me hit you with a photon torpedo of knowledge: Denise Crosby herself said, that she would have stayed on the show had she had more scenes between her and Worf like in her final episode Skin of Evil. In that scene, there are some hints that there might be an attraction between the two characters.

But Tasha and Data...well they only did it because they were under the influence of the Psi 2000 virus in The Naked Now. I mean, come on, she knew it was a mistake and afterwards went up to Data and said, "It never happened." However, when she said that, a bunch of fanfic writers heard, "Data, I secretly lust for you!"

OK...back to what I was thinking before: If I had a chance to ask each member of The Next Generation cast a question...what would I ask?

Sir Partick Stewart (Captain Jean-Luc Picard):

-Do you like Earl Gray tea?

-How often do you get mistaken for Telly Savalas?

-Whenever you go to the dentist and you're in the chair, does he ask you how many lights you see?

Jonathan Frakes (Commander William T. Riker)

-Is it fair to say that your beard is the best thing that ever happened to you?

-How much blame do you accept for Star Trek: Insurrection?

-If they ever made a live action Gargoyles movie, would you want to play Xanatos?

Michael Dorn (Lt. Commander Worf)

-How glad were you that Worf on DS9 was the total badass that he was supposed to be...but wasn't on TNG?

-Is there anyone who, if they were any other man, you would kill where they stand? (FYI: My dad loves that line from Star Trek: First Contact)
-What's it like kissing Terry Farrel? Cause I always wanted to do that when I was a kid.

"I am Worf. I go by one name, just like Cher."


Brent Spiner (Lt. Commander Data)
-Is it true you hated Spot?
-Is it true you're currently voicing the Joker in the Young Justice series?
-What did you think of them making Data so annoying in Star Trek: Generations?


Marina Sirtis (Counsellor Deanna Troi)
-Does it bother you that most people find your character useless?
-Who's the better kisser, Frakes or Dorn?
-Uh, what's with all the TNG cast members being on Gargoyles? Though seriously, I thought you were great as Demona.


LeVar Burton (Lt. Commander Geordi LaForge)
-You've gone on record criticizing Nemesis. If JJ Abrams was behind a new movie with your crew, what would you like to see?
-Why did all the bad stuff happen to your character?
-Why did they have to cancel Reading Rainbow?


Gates McFadden (Dr. Beverly Crusher)
-Were you surprised to be asked back for the third season after being absent completely for the second?
-How come the writers never had you do much in the movies?
-Ever have some idiot consult you for medical advice?


Denise Crosby (Lt. Tasha Yar)
-OK, looking back at it, was leaving the show the worst decision ever?
-Would you have appeared as Sela in Star Trek: Nemesis?


Wil Weaton (Ensign Wesley Crusher)
-You're the fat kid from Stand By Me, right?
-Were you the kid with glasses from Stand By Me?
-Wait, I'm sorry, you played the kid everyone hated in that sci-fi series back in the 90's. OK, my question is, did you always want to play Anakin Skywalker?
-OK, real question, how come you weren't in the final episode, All Good Things?

Relax, I would never ask questions so stupid. Chances are if I did get a chance to ask them all a question it would be something cheesy like, What was the best episode you guys ever did? or Would you ever be interested in seeing a reboot done to your show like they did with the last movie?

Either way, I'm really looking forward to this convention, getting some autographs (I urge people to get a free autograph from voice artists whenever you can. They're so nice, very friendly and will more than likely break into character at the drop of a hat. Plus no damn fees for pictures), new reading material, novelty clothes and maybe pick up some art. I got a few pictures last year but they seem more appropriate for a scrapbook. Still, I can't wait to see what the Calgary Expo has for us later this year.

Calgary Expo 2011

After missing the Calgary Expo last year due to my bosses being complete assholes and changing my schedule at the last minute, I was determined to make it this year. While I do count myself as a big nerd, I wasn't about to dress up for several reasons:

A) I do not own a costume or Starfleet uniform

B) I really don't want the attention.

However I did want to show that I was a part of the community and thus wore my Green Lantern t-shirt, despite the fact that I don't care at all about Green Lantern and find his weakness to be laughable at best.

So off I went, on the C-Train after arriving home at work and failing to get in a quick cat-nap. As I rode, I saw that I couldn't see anyone cos-playing but quite a lot of people with weekend passes. And since I wasn't too familiar with where I was going, I just decided that I would follow someone and do my best not to look like a tourist in a city I've lived in for almost two years.

Entering the convention reminded me of that scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey where Bowman reaches the monolith and says, "My god, it's full of stars" and is then exposed to a screensaver (Can you explain to me what I'm watching in that movie?). However instead of stars, it was just nerds. And yet it was so awesome. I was overwhelmed by the numbers and I was expecting a lot of people to show. This is what happens when you say that Star Trek is better than Star Wars out loud

I knew that there was a lot of stuff to see but at the same time I was just so overwhelmed by the people I saw. On my left I saw Robocop looking through comic books from the fifties while a guy in a Superman costume handled a boa constrictor. On my right, a ninja from the Villiage Hidden in the Leaves shopped shuriken (Throwing stars). It was like I had travelled into a modern day version of the Mos Eisley Spaceport. Every life form from pop-culture converged on that large area and were all cool with each other. Even though I was tired from being up all night before, I suddenly got a surge of energy that would carry me through the day.

One of the first booths I wanted to check out was for Blind Ferret Entertainment, a Montreal based group which produces the webcomics Least I Could Do, Looking for Group and Gutters. I don't read Looking for Group but the other two I keep up to date with. While LICD may not be for everyone (You'll be offended eventually and most likely laugh at the same time in the back of your mind), I find it enjoyable and decided to pick up a volume of their work.

Now you might be saying, "Uh, Schweitzer-Man, you can read every strip online...for free!" True, but I like that the book came with creator commentary on the strips. And besides, I get a free reusable bag out of the deal, so we all win. Plus I got it autographed by writer Ryan Sohmer and artist Lar DeSouza.
Least I Could Do is about a narcissist who uses his charm, humour and vivid imagination as much as possible to enjoy life. Why are you all looking at me like that?

Now of course the big deal about this convention was the the one and only, two time Emmy winner, Golden Globe winner and of course, the man who put the "star" in Star Trek, William Shatner was going to be there. And if Shatner is going to be there, then there's going to be a massive lineup for his autograph. And if Shatner is giving autographs...then you're going to be paying a lot. I think I heard that it was $40 for just a picture with him and $75 if I wanted an autograph.

Considering that the man is still able to get work these days, I have to wonder why I should have to pay for his signature? Now, if the money is going to a good cause (Which I like to think), then I'm pretty cool with it. However I heard from someone that Shatner wasn't really interacting with people; that he was just signing the photos and moving on. Now should I ever get rich and famous (Support this cause by giving me lots of money!), one thing I'll do if I'm ever at a convention, is not only sign what you want my autograph on, but also take a few seconds to talk to you. "Hey, how's it going? Enjoying your day? Favourite episode is...?"
The reason these people got where they are is due to the fans.

This was the closest I got to getting a picture of William Shatner

However after hours of wandering around, I saw there were lineups to get photos and autographs from voice actors. I was initially going to get one from Vic Mingnona but didn't at the last minute mainly because I can only think of one anime he'd been in and that was Full Metal Panic.

However, I did see one voice actor's name and instantly knew that even if I had to face a thousand Klingons, I would get Maurice LaMarche's autograph for my dad. Back in the mid-90's, there were awesome cartoons on at the time. Animaniacs being one as well as it's spin-off show, Pinky and the Brain. Now my dad's pretty old school about animation. If it doesn't involve anything that includes the voices of Mel Blanc then he honestly couldn't give a shit. You could show him the lastest English dubbed anime from Japan but he would much rather watch Foghorn Leghorn smack that dumb dog on the ass with a stick. My dad could probably look at this picture all day and laugh

However, he loved to watch Pinky and the Brain. He would listen to the Brain insult people, things, Pinky and would laugh his ass off. One of his favourite moments is when Brain super-imposes a picture of himself on a horse with Pinky's head and says, "Here I am atop the beast of ignorance." So when I saw that Maurice LaMarche was not only going to be signing autographs and posing for autographs for free, I instantly got in line and waited forty-five minutes.

It was worth it because I had some interesting conversations with other fans as well as heard some gay guy lisping about how he didn't know anything about Pinky and the Brain.

"Oh, isn't that the show where there's like a grumpy mouse and a happy mouse?" he mused.

I would have smacked the stupid out of him right then and then however I was getting closer to Maurice.

"I'm not sure if this will be safe for Slimer," he said as Egon from The Real Ghostbusters. As I got closer and closer, I started to feel a bit nervous. Granted I wasn't meeting Shatner but this was the next best thing.

Maurice shook my hand, smiled and couldn't have been nicer, even breaking out the voice of The Brain to say a word to my father. If you want to check it out, just follow this link. Part of me wishes I had said a little more to him but I didn't want to sound like some blabbering fanboy. However, if there's anything I regret not saying, it's that my younger sister used the song Brainstem to study in her nursing program."Hello, I'm Maurice LaMarche and I'm awesome. YES!!!"

I thought about getting into the line for Rob Paulsen (He did the voice of Pinky and a lot of other characters) but that was three times as long and I was lucky to get to the front of mine early. No, I would have to wait another time. One thing I also regret missing was a panel Maurice, Rob and Jess Harnell (The voice of Wakko) took place in. Apparently they took turns doing William Shatner impressions and did other things too. I have no idea if anyone asked Rob to recite Yakko's World but I've seen video of him doing it before and that would have been cool to see.

I kept wandering around with no clear goal in mind. As the final hour approached, I got near the autograph section again and saw that there was a very short lineup to get an autograph from Jonathan Frakes, who played Commander Riker on Star Trek: The Next Genearation and also hosted Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction, which was sort of like a modern day Twilight Zone or Alfred Hitchcock Presents. This I couldn't pass up, especially since in the third grade, I wrote a brief explination to a magazine, explaining why Riker was my favourite character. Looking back at that letter, I can say that it's poorly written and I only picked Riker because all the characters were my favourite. But it still got published anyway.

Regretfully, I wasn't allowed to film my encounter with Frakes but he was nice, shook my hand, signed my picture and thanked me for coming out. I didn't mind shilling out $20 for that. By that point, fatigue was beginning to set in. I could write a whole other paragraph or five about my adventures with Calgary transit, however I expect you're pretty tired from reading this already. All in all, it was a great time, I'll be going back in 2012 and getting a weekend pass.Probably my favourite picture I took that day. I don't know why but it feels like a perfect representation of this convention

Made It So

After missing it last year, I've just spent the better part of a day at the Calgary Expo where I was very fortunate to get the autographs of Johnathon Frakes (Commander Riker) and Maurice Lamarche, who is a really awesome guy. Have a lot of pictures and I'll be uploading Maurice's message to my father (Done in The Brain's voice, no less) as soon as I get a chance but right now, kinda tired. Up for more than 24 hours and on my feet for almost the same amount of time. I've earned a little break

Schweitzer-Man vs the Nazis Part II

So there I was, downtown Calgary and I realized that I had arrived too early. So maybe I could have afforded to fall asleep on the train and arrive a bit late. And since it was cold, I decided to walk around and warm up. As I rounded the block for the second time I saw a group of women carrying signs so I decided to follow them to city hall.

Sure enough when I got there there were trucks for CTV, Global and various other media outlets. There were a few counter-protesters around, making name tags with goofy names like 'Pac-Man'; 'Tinkerbell'. I was thinking about putting 'Schweitzer-Man' on mine, but decided not to take one at all. If it looked like I had anything to do with the counter-protest movement, chances are that I would not have gotten as close to the skinheads as I did.

As one of my college professors once told me: "That's boring. Make it sexy!"

Which brings me to my next point. I have no idea which group it was that attended this. I heard some people saying it was the 'Aryan Guard' while other said it was a group called 'Blood and Honour'. It's confusing because the Wikipedia page for the Aryan Guard links it to the Blood and Honour website and they insist that they are NOT the Aryan Guard. Confused yet? But for the sake of clarity, I'll refer to these people as Blood and Honour.

So the leader of this counter-protest got up on the steps of city hall and announced what would be happening. There were going to be two blockades of police, one blocking the counter-protesters and the other blocking Blood and Honour with about a hundred metres or more in between them. I noticed a lot of the people there were wearing masks (Guy Fawkes seemed the most popular; I think those people were just hoping a fight would break out) and was told that it's legal so long as they don't do anything illegal. The leader of this was a long-haired dude named Jason who had previously been assaulted by members of Blood and Honour so I can understand why they would want to wear them. In their case it was "V for Very Unoriginal"

I don't know who said so, but shortly thereafter someone said, "There they are! They're down the street!" Cue the theme to Superman as I dashed down the street with my video camera in one hand and my other camera in my trusty camera bag. Before I could even get across the street I saw an obstacle in front of me which was the police barricade. Normally I would have done a flying somersault over them but thanks to my charming good looks and youth, they took me to be a member of the press and let me through.

As I got closer I could see the waves of two identical flags for Blood and Honour. As was earlier stated, there were not a lot of people. About sixteen, I imagine, most of them dressed in black, some of them with shaved heads (There was only one woman and she had pink hair) with bandannas over their faces. What mostly surprised me was how young most of them were. Most of them looked like they belonged in Germany's version of High School Musical. A lot of the older ones looked to be in their thirties and forties with big guts and faces that told me not a lot was going upstairs other than the theme to Benny Hill.

"We told our parents that we were going to the library to study...please don't tell on us."

The one in charge was probably in his twenties but you couldn't tell looking at him. He was just so short that you would have thought he was crouching or on his knees. I'm surprised that nobody went up and kicked him. Not because he's a Nazi (Kick all Nazis, not just short ones) but just to see how far the little guy would fly.

The whole couple of hours I was out there consisted of Blood and Honour getting blocked by police at one block so then they would try and go around the block only to find that the police moved faster than a bunch of fat white guys who probably won't lose a pound despite all the walking they did. Aside from shouting "WHITE PRIDE WORLDWIDE" they really didn't do anything.

At one point one of them got right up in the face of one of the officers in the barricade and began shouting at him. They were the ones who deserved to be at City Hall. They weren't the violent ones. The officer just kept quiet and let the moron rant away. "That's right, hide behind your sunglasses," he sneered at the cop as he went back to join his friends who were all hiding behind their bandannas.

"We're so full of pride that we're going to hide our faces so no one knows who we are...wait, what?"

And that was it, walk, get blocked, shout and repeat. On and on. I don't know what in the hell these dumbasses were trying to accomplish. "Hey, let's walk around and wave a flag and shout the same slogan over and over for four hours! When we done, we can go back to the clubhouse and circle-jerk!!!"

And you know that last part is true.

Occasionally, some of them would decide to remove all doubt about their lack of intelligence and possible inbred family tree by opening their mouths to speak. "I got laid off from my last job because I don't speak Arabic," boasted some fat slob. I'm sure the fact that you were caught trying to have relations with a Basset Hound didn't help you either. And let's look at his actions right now. Instead of taking the opportunity to look for employment in downtown Calgary, he's going to just walk from one block to another, back and forth for a few hours, shout "WHITE PRIDE WORLDWIDE", show everyone how fat he is and then go home and pass out drunk during a Nascar race, muttering in your sleep, "They took muh job!"

It's fine to hate someone if they're an asshole, but to hate them simply because "der skin is blaak", well it makes me think that random sterilization isn't such a bad idea. Or maybe just for members of Blood and Honour. They must realize that separation of the races is just crazy and the pipe dream of the KKK and Elijah Muhammad. I mean, these people must have watched Star Trek and all the episodes (start video at 2:19) they did about racism or demonstrated that racism was something not tolerated due to it's sheer stupidity.

Wow, with you being unemployed, I'm glad you still have money to spend on the essentials like cigarettes.

Naturally I would have loved to go into full superhero mode and body slam these pussies like I was Hulk Hogan but sadly due to the massive police presence in the area, the odds of escape would not have been in my favour. But if there was one idiot who deserved it, it was a man I nicknamed 'Leprechaun-Nazi Douche'. He was wearing a large Leprechaun hat despite St. Patrick's day having passed. He walked around with Blood and Honour and would say stupid shit like, "You got these people that come from Sudan and they have like eight kids and they start selling drugs and listening to rap music."

Oh right, Mr. Leprechaun-Nazi Douche. Because as we all know, white people never have an abundance of children, listen to rap or do drugs. No, it's all those evil minorities. What was even more sad was that the Blood and Honour people just kinda stood there and accepted it. Eventually Blood and Honour realized that after four hours of walking around they were pretty bored and going to go back to their clubhouse to circle-jerk. Mr. Leprechaun-Nazi Douche went over to the counter-protest side and tried to pick fights with anyone who would give him attention. I last saw him walking down the street all by himself.

"Look, I'm wearing a big leprechaun hat!!! I'm so crazy and original! Please pay attention to me!!! PLEEEEZZZEEE!!!!"

So with the Nazis on their bus and gone, I decided to leave as well since there wasn't going to be anything interesting going on anyway. In closing, I leave you with a picture of a happy police officer and a member of the 4chan community.

"Now that the Nazis are gone I can play paintball! Hell yeah!!!"

I'll just let this one speak for itself

Be a NINJA!!!!!

I was at the gym recently and as I was leaving I saw a flyers on the desk that I had overlooked before. Always looking for new reading material, I picked it up and saw the following explanation in the top right corner:

Ninjutsu: Ninjutsu was developed as a collection of fundamental survivalist techniques in the warring states of feudal Japan.

My first immediate thought was, "Ninjas live in Calgary?" and wondering if this was foreshadowing to me entering a time vortex and getting sucked back in feudal Japan so that I could keep the entire cast of The Last Samurai from crying at the end of the movie.

"Oh, hai."

Some of you may think I'm going to start knocking martial arts but the truth is I'm not. I have great respect for it considering that Bruce Lee is one of my idols. But I'm just taking a look at the flyer and examining what else it explains about this course.
Well, it seems that before you can get to Ninjutsu, you first must conquer the five levels of Taijutsu.

Well, wait a minute, isn't that the biggest tease ever. You lure people in by telling that you're going to train them to be a ninja...only after they've mastered another form of fighting. OK, let's examine the five levels.

A moment most Chuck Norris fans would like to forget

Level 1: Earth-This is where you learn the foundation of your training with physical exercise, basic punches and kicks, rolling, and dodging

Why would you roll if you can dodge? For that matter, when have you ever seen anyone actually roll on the ground when fighting...aside from those near-homoerotic moments in UFC. The only time I can recall someone rolling in a fight was Bruce Lee and that was when he had a whole Japanese dojo charging at him before he bitch-slapped them with his nunchuks.

Level 2: Water-In water, you learn to be flexible, to "go with the flow", soft strikes, leadership and basic grappling

You know, you could have just used (again) Bruce Lee's famously quoted, "Be water, my friend" speech. Would have been so much cooler


Level 3: Fire-Fire is all about independence; where you start to take what you have learned and make it fit your body type. Fast and explosive is the training method for this level and to learn the meaning of full commitment

That's fire? OK, you better hope a lot of people who sign up aren't people who have seen Naruto otherwise you're going to have some pissed off anime nerds on your hands.

Maybe he's a dragon and not a ninja...

Level 4: Wind-Getting into distance fighting, and reading body language, to learn how to anticipate the next move, and how to talk your way out of a situation with the confidence to back it up

Bruce Lee wouldn't have walked away...I'm just sayin'...

Level 5: Void-Void is where it all starts to come together. Combining all 4 levels and learning the history of the system, to prepare you for your Black Belt.

Void? Sorry, just seems like kind of an empty title (Ha...ha). Especially if it's the level where you bring everything together

Hey, hold on a second! Earth, Fire, Wind, Water and Void...sounds kinda familiar. You know what, if you substituted "Heart" for "Void", that sounds like something out of a bad Ted Turner environmental cartoon show.

Now this class makes sense to me. You learn these five stages and combine them to make you start your path to being a ninja. So let's just call the fifth level Heart because to me that makes more sense. So, Earth, Water, Fire, Wind and Heart.
When the five Levels combine, they summon Earth's greatest champion:
NINJA CAPTAIN PLANET!!!

All kidding aside, the course does sound interesting and if I wasn't so lazy at times, had reliable transportation and wasn't such a boxing fanatic that commitment to any other sports seems like heresy. Besides, I think just learning the five levels of taijutsu would be enough. I mean, in freakin' Calgary, do you think we have a need for ninjas?

Also, if I'm in a fight, do you think your opponent is going to give you time to remember what pocket you left your shuriken in?

"Hi, I'm Naruto, and I have the most unrealistic outfit related to my profession since April O'Neil. Believe it!!!

Hajime no Ippo

You'd honestly rather read 'Prince of Tennis' than this?

Two weeks ago I wrote about a character who had been around for 30 years and how his legend of suck has evolved into some strange sort of hero worship for nerds.

Today, I'll talk about something that as of this writing has reached it's 20th anniversary of publication and while it may be having it's own moments of suckage right now (Don't get too excited, Fett-boys, your hero will always be #1) it is still a great read and perhaps one of the most underrated mangas ever written.


Back in 2005, I was participating in an online discussion related to the (then) upcoming movie Rocky Balboa. At the time, I was shaking my head at the thought of Stallone getting back into the ring and slurring his way through another fight and was looking for another source of boxing related fiction. That was when someone asked me if I had ever read or watched Hajime no Ippo. Since I had not and was always eager to give something boxing related a look, I decided it was best to check it out.



First, let me just say that Hajime no Ippo (Fighting Spirit as it was called in the North American dub) is terribly cliched. You have your standard weakling main character who decides to become a professional boxer, the wise old sage/coach with a Gordon Ramsay like temper, the rival/friend who is perfect in every way yet a polar opposite to the main character (A common character in anime), and a strong, undefeated older champion boxer who is so macho and such a heterosexual that he's almost borderline gay. I'm not joking earlier, Takamura may be one of the most likable sexual predators since Roman Polanski.

However despite all the cliches, this is the only manga I'll read and it's one of the best things I've ever read.

To sum it up, Ippo is a timid high school student who helps run a fishing boat business with his mom and generally gets the crap beaten out of him by the bullies at school. During one of Ippo's many beatings, an up and coming middleweight boxer, Takamura, steps in and saves Ippo. After seeing how cool Takamura is at taking buttons from people (Yeah, apparently boxers can take all the buttons off your shirt while keeping their hands in their pockets) and watching a bunch of Mike Tyson videos Ippo decides that he wants to box professionally too.


Surprisingly, Takamura is a bit pissed off about this because he thinks Ippo is taking the sport very lightly. With tears in his eyes, Ippo asks, "Takamura, what does it mean to be strong?" From there Ippo meets his rival, Miyata and the series is ultimately building up to a super huge mega big time ultra super smash hit gigantic hella mega fight between the two.


Twenty years later, that answer still eludes our hero even though in the manga he's only aged maybe six or seven years.


This is an anime geared towards men and has testosterone dripping from almost every page. If the characters aren't fighting, they're preparing for a match and if they're not doing that then Takamura is making a joke about (and thereby grabbing) Ippo's penis.


Seriously, this series has more dick jokes than a Kevin Smith film festival. And you'd be surprised the number of time that someone makes reference to Ippo's massize Schweitzer-like dick. It almost becomes a plot point. What's even stranger is that sometimes Ippo acts like he wants to use his Schweitzer-schlong on Miyata than Kumi, the girl everybody keeps trying to get him to date.

Why are you picturing Miyata shirtless? GIRLS, Ippo! Boys kiss GIRLS!!!

I've watched the first anime series which ran from 2000 until 2002 which was a few years before I got interested in boxing. It took me a long time until I found the English dub for it since reading subtitles can be a bit annoying. However that quickly changed when I noticed how atrociously ass the dub is. The voice actors sound all wrong, and the dialogue is totally changed around to the point where it's almost geared to kids aged 10-12. If you're going to take an anime where at one point Takamura looks in awe at the size of the crap he takes and try to gear it towards pre-teens then you're heading toward Boba Fett levels of pathetic.

Takamura does not like any comparisons to Boba Fett


What also sucks about the anime series is that there is no mention at all of Mike Tyson. In the manga, Ippo watches a Tyson highlight video and that starts his boxing adventure. Here, he just watches some unknowns and it's lame. Granted, Tyson had just lost the title by the time this manga was published but still, there are lots of similarities between his and Ippo's style of fighting which would have been great for the anime.



However, when the show ended in 2002, the series had barely scratched the surface of Hajime no Ippo. Yes he had won the Japanese Featherweight Title but there were so many great fights and great storylines that had yet to be told on the small screen. However, I knew that the manga was far from over and I could continue to read a new chapter every week.



So you can imagine my shock when a new series, Hajime no Ippo: New Challenger premiered in January of last year. The original Japanese voice actors were all back (aside from a few minor characters) and it had the look and feel of the original series, picking up right where it left off in 2002. And it started out promptly with Takamura grabbing Ippo's massive dick while in the shower.

Uh...did someone put their hentai pics on my blog?


However, all good things don't last forever (I'm talking about New Challenger, not Ippo's free handjob) and the series ended after just 26 episodes. It's not cancelled because it has been revealed that there will be a third season. That's great and all but why do we have to wait so long?


Which brings me to the manga. It's great as I've said but at the same time, it's starting to get a little frustrating. Ippo is at this point, still Japanese champion and ranked by the WBC (World Boxing Commission) yet in almost every fight lately he seems to be getting the shit beat out of him when he shouldn't be. I mentioned earlier how his fighting style is similar to Mike Tyson's but at the moment he seems to be getting spanked just like Tyson did against Lennox Lewis. And the thing is, Tyson had incredible defense in his peak and would hit you twelve times for every shot you missed. However Ippo's defense seems to resemble the late Arturo Gatti, who would block every right hook with left side of his face.


And this is the second fight in a row that this has happened. The one before that was so bad that I think I've actually blocked it from my memory. It also doesn't help that the fights are longer than they were in the beginning of the series.


Mike Tyson gives foreshadowing to the next chapter of 'Hajime no Ippo'.


Hopefully the series does get better and I think the more we get away from Ippo's fights, the better it will get. But if you ever want a good read, Hajime no Ippo is something you should check out. Just don't expect to get it all done in one day. You're going to need a couple of really free weekends to get through this.